Aphrodite's Spa
by ShinnokRaiden99
Summary: Palutena books herself, Pit and Dark Pit an appointment at Aphrodite's Spa, the most highly acclaimed resort in the God's realm. Unfortunately, things go... slightly awry.


"Hmm..."

Palutena eased the doors to her throne room open a tiny crack, her emerald eyes scanning the room as much as she could from her vantage point.

Empty. Perfect.

A soft giggle escaping her lips, the Goddess of Light pushed open the door and hurried to her throne. Slipping something into the cushions, she took her seat with a childish grin on her face. This was going to be great. Pit and Dark Pit had been out training with the other angels all morning, giving Palutena the chance she needed. She crossed her legs and positioned herself to hide the little slip of paper poking out, when a familiar sound and pillar of light caught her attention. They were back.

From out of the light stepped two figures, both physically identical. One was clad in a white chiton and a golden laurel nestled in his brown hair, while the other was dressed in black.

"Stop complaining, other me," the black-garbed angel spoke, an indifferent scowl on his face as he glanced over his shoulder. "I won, fair and square."

"Like heck you did, Pittoo!" his companion whined. "Aries Armour, Pisces Heal AND Libra Sponge? All at the same time? How is that fair?"

"All's fair when it comes to war, Pitstain!" Dark Pit turned to face his original, brow furrowed. "And I told you to stop calling me that!"

"And I told YOU to stop using such cheap combos!" Pit said with a glare, a vein visibly bulging on his forehead. His doppelganger grit his teeth and glared back, their gazes so intense you could practically see the daggers they were sending each other.

Palutena couldn't help but let out a little laugh at the sight. Some things never changed. She smiled and stood up from her throne. "Welcome back, Pit! And you too, Pittoo!"

Pit broke the staring contest he was having with his shadowy counterpart, an overjoyed expression replacing his frustrated one. "Lady Palutena!"

Dark Pit meanwhile simply turned his glare from Pit to Palutena. "I said-"

"So, you boys have a good time?" she asked with a serene smile, cutting off the dark angel's comment. "Looks to me like you both worked up a sweat!"

"Of course, Lady Palutena!" Pit said with a wide smile.

"Pft. Whatever." Dark Pit folded his arms and leaned against a nearby column.

The green-haired deity smiled at the contrast between the two; they looked so similar, yet acted so different at times. "Well, that's good. Because you boys have both been trying so hard, I felt a vacation was in order."

She fought the urge to smile wider at both angels' reactions; Pit had blinked in surprise, while Dark Pit glanced over with an eyebrow raised.

"A... vacation, Lady Palutena?"

"That's right," she reached over to her throne, plucking the pamphlet she had tucked into it and handed it to her captain. Dark Pit unfolded his arms and walked over, peering over Pit's shoulder, and instantly both of them reacted with the same wide-eyed, slack-jawed expression of amazement.

"No... way..."

"Aph... Aph..."

"Aphrodite's Divine Spa and Hotspring Resort," Palutena answered for them, speaking the words emblazoned at the top of the pamphlet.

"No way!" Pit looked up at the goddess, his eyes sparkling. "You mean it? You really mean it, Lady Palutena!?"

"I mean it," she answered with a wink. "Like I said, you've both been working really hard since the Underworld Army last attacked, so I think you deserve it!"

"Wow! I... I-I don't know what to say! Thank you so much, Lady Palutena!" Pit rushed over, wrapping his arms around his Goddess's waist. Palutena giggled, returning her top guard's hug, before looking over at the other angel.

"I trust you'll be joining us, Dark Pit?" she asked. Pit looked over.

The dark angel scowled and looked away, but Palutena noticed a slight red colour to his cheeks.

"Hmph. I told you before, I'm not going to suck up to you," he grumbled, his arms folded over his chest. "...but, uh... I... I can't let the other me get an advantage of me at this spa. So I'm going, whether you two like it or not!"

Palutena and Pit exchanged a look. Pit's brow furrowed in frustration. Palutena gave a shrug and a smile.

* * *

A pillar of golden light shone down from the sky onto the entrance of the valley, three figures visible within it as the light died down.

"Okay, we're here!" Palutena said with her usual cheerfulness.

The two angels stepped forward, their eyes scanning the area they found themselves in. The wind howled through the hills around them, but there was no sign of the resort.

"There's... nothing here," Pit said.

Dark Pit scowled, his arms folded. "Is this another one of your jokes, Palutena?"

"Now, now..." The deity stepped forward. Her staff began to shine with light. "Aphrodite isn't like myself or Viridi; she likes to keep to herself, and not take sides in any of the wars for or against humans."

"Oh..." Pit nodded. "So that's why I've never met her..."

"That's right. She keeps her domain hidden where other gods and goddess can't teleport straight to it. If we want access... we need to alert her of our arrival."

Palutena raised her staff to the sky. A blinding light erupted from it and the scenic view melted away to reveal the resort.

"Whoa..." Both angels gasped as they stared at the building before them. Resembling an ancient parthenon, the white marble building towered over the three of them. For a resort it was truly huge, almost as big as Palutena's own palace. At the front of the building, what was once a simple grassy clearing was now a pathway that floated above a seemingly endless sky-blue void. The pathway ended at immaculate white steps led up to the entrance, which was lined with tall pillars, holding up the large triangular roof. Around the building steaming water was seen cascading out of open gaps and down into the void. Chiselled into the front of the marble roof was the building's name; "Aphrodite's Divine Spa and Hotspring Resort".

"It's..." Pit began.

"...amazing," Dark Pit finished.

Their wonder was interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. The three shifted their attention as a woman stood before them. She was tall and beautiful, with deep crimson hair. Were it not tied up, it would likely trail on the ground behind her; as it was the bright red tresses were lifted up and cascaded down her back, all the way to her knees. Her soft, delicate features were framed by a lock of hair on either side, and her slim, graceful body was clad in a floor-length pink toga-dress, baring just enough flesh to be alluring while remaining respectful. Ribbons of a matching colour ran up her arms, criss-crossing in a pattern from wrist to elbow while a similarly pink see-through shawl was draped over her shoulders.

"Welcome, guests," the goddess spoke in a voice as warm and gentle as the waters of her hotsprings, as the two male angels felt their faces heating up. Palutena, however, stepped forward without apprehension.

"Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, if I am correct?" she asked.

The pink-clad deity nodded, an idle smile on her face. "That is correct. And you must be Palutena, Goddess of Light."

A nod was given, as the red haired goddess looked at the two angels. "Then these are Pit and Dark Pit..."

"That's right, ma'am!" Pit chimed in, a confident smile on his face.

"I see. Might I ask..." Her eyes moved from Pit to Dark Pit and back again. "...which one of you is which?"

Pit stared at her for a few seconds before glancing at his partner, then turned back to Aphrodite with an utterly confounded look on his face. Dark Pit meanwhile looked at Pit for a few moments, then turned to Aphrodite with an incredulous look on his face, then looked back at Pit. Palutena just let out a small laugh.

"The one in dark clothes is Dark Pit, and the other one is my Pit," Palutena explained. Aphrodite smiled and nodded, seemingly content with the answer, before she turned to the building.

"Very well. If you would all follow me, please..." And with that the goddess began to walk towards her resort.

Palutena nodded. She glanced back at Pit and Dark Pit and motioned them to follow before walking along behind the Love Goddess. The angels exchanged an uneasy glance, before obediently following behind Palutena. As the three Skyworld denizens followed entered the luxurious bathhouse, awe quickly overcame the two winged soldiers as their eyes scanned the inside of the building. It was just as magnificent as the outside; elegant marble statues and pillars dotting the area, and the floor was polished to such a shine that was like walking on a mirror.

Aphrodite led them to a desk, taking her seat and crossing her long legs. She popped open a little black book and ran her finger down the page. "Let's see, Palaemon, Palioxis, Pallus... Palutena. Yes, this seems about right."

She picked a small bell made of pink gold up off her desk and rang it. A dainty sound echoed through the halls of the bathhouse, which was followed by the fluttering of feathers as a trio of female angels flew into the area. Each one was dressed in a toga-dress much like Aphrodite's own and physically resembled each other, but they could all be discerned from one another by their hairstyles. One had golden hair cut in a cute bob, another had a long green ponytail, and the third had pale blue hair tied in a braid around her crown. Pit looked at their flapping wings with a jealous pout as Aphrodite began to speak.

"Cyprus, please take Palutena," she said as she handed the blue-haired angel a yellow card.

"Of course, Lady Aphrodite!" Cyprus replied, turning to Palutena and bowing. "Follow me, please!"

"And Cythera, you will help Pit," she said to the next angel, the blonde, handing them a blue card.

"Understood, ma'am!" Cythera said with a beaming smile. "Let's go, sir!" She took hold of Pit's hand and lead him off.

"This leaves Dark Pit to you, Paphos," she said, handing the final ponytail-bearing angel a green card.

"Of course, Lady Aphrodite," Paphos replied, taking Dark Pit's hand and leading him down one of the halls.

Palutena smiled warmly. "Thank you again, Aphrodite. The boys deserve this." She turned away and walked after her designated angel.

Aphrodite merely nodded politely and watched her fellow goddess leave. Once all three were gone and sat back down, checking her book.

"...wait..." she muttered aloud to the empty room. "Palutena's treatment WAS on the blue card, wasn't it?" she asked herself. "Or... was it the green card...?" She scratched the side of her head before she simply shrugged. "Oh, I'm sure it won't matter."

* * *

"And here we are!" Cythera said as she led Pit through to his designated area. The large room was formed of the same marble as the rest of the building, but with more of a bluish tint to it. On the ground before them, the ground had been carved into multiple rectangular pits, filled to the brim with a seafoam green substance.

"This is Lady Aphrodite's famous Promethean mud baths," The angel attendant stated, gesturing to them with a perfected tour-guide-smile and a clearly well-rehearsed speech. "By mixing together water from the hotsprings in this area with mud from Mount Olympus, Lady Aphrodite has managed to create these luxurious mud pits that not only relieve aches and pains, but exfoliate the skin, improve complexion and a variety of other effects!"

"Huh. I... see..." Pit looked at the green sludge filling the pit she was pointing to. He never quite understood the appeal of lounging around in filth. Surely she wasn't expecting him to just jump in? "Um... I'm not so sure abou-"

"Oh, pish-posh!" Cythera interrupted, grabbing Pit by his chiton. With one swift pull, she somehow yanked all of his clothing off, at the same time giving him a light shove into the bath. Landing with a splat and a loud yelp, Pit quickly grabbed the sides of the tub and pulled himself up in an attempt to leave, only for Cythera's hand to force him back down into a seating position, so that only his head and shoulders sat above the surface.

"Just give it a try please, sir!" Cytherea said with a giggle as she gently rubbed the mud that had landed on his face and hair into his skin and scalp. "Lady Aphrodite handpicks the treatments that would have the best effect on her customers. She always knows best!"

Pit groaned a bit as Cythera rubbed the goo over his face, such that only his eyes, nostrils and mouth exposed. Even his hair had taken on a slight green tint from the gunk worked into it. "But it feels so... weird!"

Cythera just giggled and stepped back, smacking her palms together to brush the excess mud from them. "That just means it's working!" she said cheerfully, slipping a pair of cucumber slices over her customer's eyes. "Now, you just soak and relax; I'll be back soon."

With that, Pit could her her wings fluttering as she hurried off. He sighed heavily and reclined back, his shoulders sinking into the mud. This WAS one of the most accomplished resorts in the Gods' realm. Guess he would just have to take their word for it and try to relax.

* * *

"Are you ready, Lady Palutena?" Cyprus asked the goddess from the other side of the sheet.

"Yes, I'm just coming!" Palutena called back as she stepped out, her long dress and other clothes discarded and replaced by a simple white robe with her hair tied up. "So what exactly are we doing here?"

"This, my goddess, is the Santorini Sauna," Cyprus explained, opening the door for Palutena. Inside was a large square room, small benches sat along with wall with heat rising from the pit in the middle. "Just sit right here and sweat your worries away."

"Sounds delightful!" Palutena beamed as she took a seat on one of the benches, crossing her legs.

Cyprus smiled and bowed politely. "Only the best for Lady Aphrodite's guests! Sit tight, I'll be back soon!" The angel turned and adjusted the heating controls outside before closing the door and flapping away. Palutena smiled, stretching as she leaned back on the bench. Being Goddess of Light was tough work; even if it was mainly for the boys, she was glad to get a little bit of R&R herself. She could already feel herself glowing from the heat, the warmth slowly sapping her anxieties away as she closed her eyes.

* * *

Pit groaned. He hated this. He hated sitting shoulder-deep in mud. He hated all this muck over his face. He hated waiting there with nothing to do. He hated the cucumbers over his eyes. And he hated the weird tingling feeling this gunk was giving him.

"Okay!" the irritatingly chipper voice of Cythera rang in his ears as he felt the slices being removed. "How do you feel, sir?"

"Hrm..." the angel captain groaned. He felt like a piece of lettuce that had been soaked in dressing for too long, but he didn't want to say anything. The attendant reached down and gently peeled the layer of green substance from his face, beaming with pride.

"See, your cheeks are already so much softer! In fact the rest of your face is too!" Cythera giggled and gently helped Pit out of the pit.

"Yeah... thanks..." he murmured, though he couldn't deny it. His entire body felt weird, and even his voice seemed to be a little bit softer.

"Okay, sir, just take a brief trip to the showers and wash the mud off!" Cythera said as she looked up at her customer, gesturing to the shower area. Pit nodded and made his way there, while Cythera giggled she got his robe ready. She always loved a happy customer, especially one as tall and graceful as...

...wait. Wasn't... he the same height as her an hour ago?

Pit sighed and entered the tiled area, turning the shower faucets. Warm water rained down on his body and the green ick was rinsed off almost immediately. He let out a sigh of relief, letting the shower clean the mud from his body and wash all his worries away. He reached up and rubbed the excess goop off with his hands. Darn, that stuff really was effective. His skin was so soft to the touch, so smooth and delicate. Even his hands seemed to be... slimmer and daintier. Almost like...

Pit looked down.

Pit screamed.

Pit fainted.

* * *

Palutena snapped awake as she felt the familiar scream of her captain.

"Pit!?" she yelled, jumping from the bench to the floor and hurrying to the sauna entrance, flinging the door open.

"Lady Pa-" Cyprus began, only to be knocked to the ground by the door.

"S-Sorry!" Palutena quickly said as she took Cyprus's hand and helped her to her feet, looking the angel in the eyes. "I just thought I hear Pit scream and... and..."

It slowly dawned on her that she was looking Cyprus... directly in the eyes. The angel who was at least half her height was now standing eye level with her.

As realization slowly dawned on her, a nervous flutter under her over-sized robe caused it to slip off her body.

A high pitched shriek echoed throughout Aphrodite's resort.

* * *

Dark Pit raised his head slightly.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what, sir?" Paphos asked, her hands not stopping as they massaged the dark angel's back and wings.

"...must've been nothing."

He laid his head back down and closed his eyes.

* * *

Aphrodite sat up, the sound of fluttering wings catching her attention just as two of her angels rushed into the room from behind her.

"Lady Aphrodite!" they both said in unison.

"We have a problem!" said Cythera.

"It's your guests from Skyworld!" added Cyprus.

"Problem?" The Goddess of Love stood and turned around. "Whatever could it b-"

She stopped when she saw the two guests with her angels.

"...oh my."

Standing with her two frightened servants were an angel and a goddess, each clad in a simple white bathrobe. The angel was frowning, her long green hair almost reaching the ground. If Aphrodite were to guess, she'd reckon the little angel was around twelve; her body was slim and delicate, with the slightest hint of curves just beginning to shine through. She had her hands on her hips, her lips pushed upwards in what was likely meant to be an intimidating glare, but just looked more like a childish pout. Under her robe Aphrodite could make out a glimpse of white feathers, the angel's wings.

Behind her stood a goddess who's face was burning red. She was as tall as Aphrodite herself, her brown hair unkempt and splaying out in multiple directions before sweeping down to her hips. Contrasting the angel, she was much more 'developed', as befitting her stature, a fact that was obvious as she tried to hold the front of her robe closed; despite the cloth belt tying it shut, SOMEthing kept causing the top to slip open and expose her cleavage. Two somethings.

The angel took a step forward, staring up at their host. "Aphrodite..." She spoke in a much higher voice than an hour ago.

"Palutena!" Aphrodite gave a blissful smile as she clasped her hands together, apparently hoping they wouldn't see a problem if she acted like nothing was wrong. "What... seems to be the problem?"

"The probl-LOOK at us!" Palutena yelled, gesturing to herself and Pit. "I demand an explanation! Now!"

"Ah, yes, ahem..." The redheaded deity gave another nervous smile. "It, erm... it seems I MAY have accidentally gotten your treatments mixed up."

The newly changed angel glowered up at the love goddess. The height difference meant absolutely nothing as Palutena was practically glowing with rage. Aphrodite quickly raised her hands in an attempt to signal her to calm down, as her own angels cowered behind her. "Now, now, Palutena, a-a goddess mustn't lose her temper...!"

"Lady Palutena, please calm down..." Pit finally spoke, placing a hand on his leader's shoulder. Palutena flinched, hearing Pit's voice. It was still boyish and recognizable her beloved guard, but it was now much softer and deeper, sounding like... well, sounding like a woman. A tomboyish woman but still a woman.

Palutena glanced up at the angel-turned-goddess, and let out a sigh. "Alright... Aphrodite, is there a way to reverse this?"

The love goddess looked down at her, still smiling. "...well..."

Palutena glared. "Aphrodite."

"...there is not..." She threw her hands up again before Palutena or Pit could say anything. "BUT that doesn't mean it is permanent. All you have to do is wait it out."

"...wait it out," Palutena repeated, an unimpressed look on her face.

"Well... that's not SO bad." Pit tried to fold his arms over his chest, only for his new assets to get in the way. He blushed and folded them under his chest instead. "How long would that take?"

"Well, that would of course depend on the person and circumstances," Aphrodite explained, pressing her hands together. "It could take anywhere from a day or two to... erm..." she raised her hands to her face, looking away and mumbling. "...a few months."

"What!?" both angel and goddess yelled, staring at her.

"Months!?" Palutena looked up at her transformed captain in shock, then back to Aphrodite. "I can't stay like this for months! I'm a goddess, I have responsibilities!"

"Yeah!" Pit chimed in. "Lady Palutena is a very busy woman, and I have to be ready to defend the humans and Skyworld! I can't miss training because of... THIS!"

"I understand, and I am VERY sorry!" Aphrodite bowed. "But unfortunately, there's nothing more I can do!"

"You... urgh!" Palutena stomped her foot and turned her back on the redhead, folding her arms. "I can't believe this!"

Aphrodite gulped and bowed again. "I promise to refund your tickets. For today, you and your companions may use the spa's facilities, free of charge!"

"Yeah!" Cythera piped up, trying to get back on their customers' good sides again. "Don't let this ruin your time here!"

"We have plenty of other accommodations for you to enjoy!" added Cyprus. "You can enjoy the salon, massage parlour, hot tub, hot spring..."

Pit immediately perked up at the mention of the hot spring. He remembered, the thing he had been most looking forward to this entire trip. He looked at his goddess-turned-angel, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Can we, Lady Palutena?" he asked, looking like a child begging for a new toy.

Palutena turned to him, grimacing, but let out a sigh when she saw his face. "...fine. I could use a soak after all this."

"Yahoo!" Pit let out a cheer as he jumped into the air, throwing his arms up. His feet hit the floor, with just enough force to make his new womanly body jiggle...

...and just enough to undo the knotted belt holding his robe together. Letting Palutena, Aphrodite and the two spa angels see everything. Three of four faces immediately burned red.

"P-PIT!" Palutena rushed over and held his robe shut.

"Oh... my..." Cythera stared, eyes wide.

Cyprus turned away, pretending she didn't see anything.

Aphrodite raised a finger to her chin. "Hm... so it seems despite other appearances, Pit has technically become a god, not a goddess," she spoke aloud to no one but herself.

Pit's face went as red as the sun god's, and he silently wished the ground would just swallow him up.

* * *

"Oh my gods...!" Dark Pit managed to say between laughs upon entering the throne room.

"Knock it off, Pittoo!" Pit whined, sat upon his goddess's throne. The rest of the spa trip had been a total waste, neither he nor Palutena were able to relax with their current predicament. He huffed and adjusted the white dress Palutena had looked out for him, which fit his new body far better than his chiton would. He sighed, ignoring the dark angel and turned to Palutena, who was dressed in a simple white tunic. "So... what do we do now, Lady Palutena?"

Palutena groaned, chin resting on her arms, arms resting on the arm-rest of her throne. She looked for all the world like a pouting child. "Hrm... I don't think we have a choice. We'll have to do as Aphrodite said... and wait." She sat up, looking up at Pit. "And I can't do my goddess duties like this. So I guess, for the time being... you're the Goddess of Light, Pit."

"Wh... me!?" Pit yelled, pointing at himself in shock. "B-But I can't be a Goddess!"

"Well if that's the case..." Dark Pit smirked as he strut over and grabbed Palutena's wrist. "Then I think 'Lady Pit' is going to need an angel to protect him, right?"

"What?" Palutena's eyes went wide before Dark Pit began to drag her off. "H-Hey, wait! Unhand me, right now!"

"Pitto, let go of-" Pit began to stand up, only for a small centurion to flutter in.

"Lady Pit!" the tiny angel called out, hurrying over and intercepting the new goddess. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Lady Viridi wants to see you."

"N-now?" Pit asked, as Dark Pit and Palutena vanished into the warp to the training grounds. "We've got a situation here, can't you tell her to come back another time?"

"I'm afraid not, Lady Pit, she's already frustrated enough that her last two meetings were cancelled. I don't think she'll tolerate a third."

"Lady Pit!" Another angel entered the throne room.

"Is EVERYONE going to call me 'Lady' from now on?" Pit groaned. "What's wrong?"

"We've received a message from Lord Dyntos, he is requesting your presence immediately!"

"What? What does he-"

"Lady Pit!" A third angel, this one clad in golden armour, entered. "We've received word that the Underworld Army is preparing an attack on the human world! What are your orders?"

"I-"

"Lady Pit!" A fourth angel entered. "Our scouts have reported Lord Pyrrhon has returned! It seems the Aurum have followed him! What should we do?"

"Lady Pit!" Yet another angel entered. "A space pirate ship has appeared on the edge of Skyworld! I think they mean to invade!"

"Lady Pit! What about Lady Viridi?"

"Lady Pit! Lord Dyntos won't want to be kept waiting!"

"But Lady Pit! The Underworld!"

"Lady Pit! The Aurum!"

"Lady Pit! Pirates!"

"Lady Pit!"

"Lady Pit!"

"Lady Pit!"

Pit simply screamed as he buried his head in his hands and curled into a ball on his throne.


End file.
